Why ‘Self Care’ isn’t working for you…
The concept of self care is so popular now and I love it, it’s great that the tide is finally turning and we’re all realising that we’re not getting a badge of honour for being the busiest, stressed/burned out/worried/anxious person we know.
That it is OK to take our foot off the gas, take some time and give ourselves a break.
My issue with it though is that most recommendations for self care are a ‘one size fits all’ solution, a hot bath, getting your nails done or going for a run and that is not always the answer.
Yes, in that moment you have a break, you take a breather and you feel better but are you actually addressing that cause of anxiety/worry/stress or are you distracting yourself from it momentarily?
Now, I’ve said that it’s not always the answer, sometimes it is. We’re feeling anxious, worried or stressed, it might be that we need a break, we need some time to ourselves. In those instances, those things will really help, regularly taking a break, taking time for yourself is just the ticket.
When there is something though, that’s a constant source of worry, anxiety or stress for you, that’s building up and making you feel uncomfortable, making you short, snappy at your kids, partner and unable to think straight and all of the other things… the solution is to identify the cause.
Take control of what you can control, get your creative juices flowing to resolve it, if it’s not something that can immediately be solved or resolved, put a plan into place over a period of time. If it’s something that you have to do on a regular basis and you just cannot get out of it – get creative, how can you reduce or take the worry/anxiety or stress out of it?
I love the quote “what we resist persists” – how about if we don’t resist, we don’t distract, we don’t ignore the message?
Instead, we ask the question, listen and respond accordingly.
That is our regular self care; asking, listening and responding, asking, listening and responding, again and again.